Once in a While

Once in a while we find love. It makes you alive, gives you energy, makes you happy. I've known love in my lifetime but I still remain cautious. I've loved in the past and things have gone wrong. I sometimes wonder if it's in me, if I'm incapable of nurturing love.

Christmas

Christmas, Windows 7, a new job, fatigue, adoption for my stepson, my um hypochondriac mother-in-law... all these plus many more thoughts are bearing down on me lately.

Tiger Woods

If the reports are true, Tiger Woods just did nine holes....

Things to Worry About

1. I dreamed about her again last night. This time she was married to a Pinoy. But I wasn't worried (in my dream) because i somehow felt that I could still win her back.
2. If you shit blood.
3. If you don't shit at all.

October 21, 2009

Was at the bank this morning and noted that the number of teller windows was nine while there were only two tellers working. Was I getting impatient? Yes, since it was almost 12:00 noon and I was hungry and was thinking of the many things I still had to do. Got home, had my fav Gen. Tso's chicken with the special chinese hot sauce that they make in the restaurant & can't buy anywhere and then got the call from Presby about my transfer. Well at least I know things are moving a little faster now. Looks like my transfer is being facilitated and there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel in terms of a change in work. Teddy & Peter's birthdays are coming up. I work this whole weekend starting tomorrow night. I need to get a haircut. I want to go to J. Crew to check out the McAllister booties.

Guitar Scales Method

Whoever wrote the computer program called "Guitar Scales Method" is a true genius. For once in my life I can understand how to play scales on the guitar in different keys. The practices are making my hands faster and my ears more attuned to the different notes. I'm also slowly but surely developing a technique for playing. This is definitely one of my lifetime goals being fulfilled here. I know in time I'll be really good at this.

5:45 am

It's 5:45 am and I woke up thinking of an ex-girlfriend and the nomadic life I used to live. I also thought of what I was going to cook today. My first wife taught me to cook. It's something I never forgot.

My Bedposts

I recall my bedposts constantly ripped off the wall, inspite of the huge amount of glue that I used. The glue was not weak, and the glue was not sparse. Which told me those things didn't fall off by themselves. So, I ask myself: why? what for? My silence just made them all the more brazen. I know, some wounds just take so long to heal.

Forgiving Myself

I lost 13 years of my life to a terrible addiction. To be able to survive as an addict, one must first and foremost hate being an addict. If there's one thing that helped me through, it was my utter dislike at being controlled by a drug. I can't imagine how one little experiment had caused so much misery. But then again, I can't cry over spilled milk. There must have been a reason for this happening to me. I can only move forward and learn from the lessons of the past.